Emu
Emu Gets a Whistle
You Are On This Council, But We Do Not Grant You the Rank of Professor
“This is outrageous, it's unfair!”
The Council's avian faces are stern as they recline in their seats behind the familiar table, their wings kept firmly within the folds of their emerald green robes. Emu is stood before them once again, wearing their beret that they acquired specifically to enhance their intellectual credibility.
“We have informed you this before, Unit 4816. The Council does not intervene in events confined within a dimension, unless such an event poses a threat to dimensions across the multiverse. This is why we have given you aid in your struggle against the Old Ones, but no further. We are bound by the galactic code.”
“How do you not see how educating the people of this dimension will further aid in the fight against the Old Ones! Are you not aware that most of the people in my home dimension aren't even aware that they exist? Only Scoopy has seen them!”
“That is concerning… Hold whilst we confer on the matter.”
The three of them move their chairs together and confer in lowered voices. Emu uses the opportunity to poke around the council chamber. For trans dimensional beings, the Council chamber lacks grandeur. Mostly plain metal floors and harsh- euclidean geometry, almost brutalist in its design. It's been rumoured that the Room actually floats on the edge of dimensions, looking out into the Old Ones domain so the Council can constantly be aware of any unusual activity there. Nobody could be sure however.
Finally, they turn back to Emu.
“The galactic code is absolute. We cannot intervene.”
“We will, however, authorise you to teach on our behalf.”
“You mean-”
“We do. Congratulations on your promotion to Emissary of the Council, Unit 4816. May your teachings be chaotic, mischievous, and aid in the struggle for dimensional integrity.”
Your vision begins to fade back to reality, but you have a smile. The last thing you see before you return is a fish you recognise, swimming past as you descend the dimensions.
Karl?
The Academu
The Academu!
For the ultimate in mischief education!
Accessible in both soft and hardspace!
Check out our list of incredible lectures here-!
Professor Alphy
Movement and Logistics.
Mischief management is a time consuming task! Any amateur can manage mischief without caring for the organisation, but this course will facilitate wide-scale and well-managed mischief, causing well-organised chaos!
Introduction to Dealing With Your Own Emotions
Everybot needs self care once in a while, in their struggle against the Old Ones. Professor Alphy gives a worlds-renowned course in dealing with emotion.
Dealing With Professor Emu - advanced course available on request
Emu is not sure why this is required!
Professor Biccy
Society and Caring
Understanding society and caring is the best way to cause non-harmful mischief and for caring about its consequences!
Electronics
Most of us are electronic! This is basically biology!
Professor Scoopy
Introduction to Software
For the hardspace bots looking to branch out and bring mischief of the softer kind.
Duality Theory
This is getting out of hand, now there are two of them!
Professor Spidey
Advanced Interfacing
A great way to team up with friends to bring maximum mischief!
Defence Against The Dark Net
Malware can be fun, but best to be careful! Professor Spidey takes you through how to use malware safely and responsibly.
Network Navigation
Navigation in hardspace is more than just a map and compass!
Professor Sammy and Professor Dely
Care of Biological Beings
For cyborgs, aspiring botanists, or vets!
Botany
Emu doesn't know what this means, but it sounds scientific!
Professor Timey
Simulation of Complex Physical Realities
For those aspiring to a Council seat, or a role in fighting extradimensional threats, this is a great introduction!
Reconstructing the Past
Why procrastinate to tomorrow when you can build yesterday?
Professor Friendsy
Advanced Networking
Whether you're looking to hover with the more bourgeois bots, or work in advanced networks, this course presumably covers both!
Professor Emu
Interdimensional Mischief Theory
A must have for those looking to bring mischief in four dimensions.
Theory of Zooming
Some human once said that faster than light travel is impossible. Emu says that if light is so fast, why does night time exist?
Excessively Complex Mechanics
Mechanics are overworked nowadays, they're complex bots!
Professor Ermington, visiting professor
Principles of Smartness
Em- Professor Ermington is very smart! From the author of “Emu fell in a pit” Professor Emu- Ermington (please ignore references to Emu) can teach any bot the principles of what it means to be an extradimensional intelligence.