Lucky

In between working at the Repair Centre and spending time with MANY TANKS who give you MANY PETS, your favourite thing to do is EXPLORING the cat paradise with your good FRIEND Goodboy. You FETCH many things for Vendy Wendy, whose entrepreneurial ambitions regarding the enrichment of cats are VERY IMPRESSIVE, and spend a lot of time playing with the cats who are VERY NUMEROUS and also VERY VARIED in their number of legs. You spend some time trying to hook up Vendy Wendy and Dr Cinnister, the cinnamon bun dispenser in the cat ravine, and they eventually tell you that they will get a COMPETITOR BOND to make them EXTREMELY EFFECTIVE at competing to vend things to the cats. That seems ENTIRELY LEGIT to you. There are also SENTIENT EYEBALLS WITH FEET, and dinosaurs that try to chomp you MORE THAN A FEW TIMES. So much to EXPLORE!! So much to FETCH!! But most of all, so much time spent with THE GOODEST BOY GOODBOY!!

The first thing you are aware of as you are pulled out of the dirt is a small bell dangling from a collar inscribed with the name “Goodboy”. Your distress signal has been answered not by a valkyrie, nor by a docbot, but by a dogbot of some sort. Your grills tremble slightly as Goodboy cocks their head at you and emits a low whine. You used to propel yourself by toasting, but right now all your internal mechanisms are clogged and you can’t do anything but shake. You knew you shouldn’t have tried to go out alone… The allure of the world, all the mysteries out there just waiting the be discovered… But now you’re stuck, and who knows if you’ll ever be able to move - to toast again? Goodboy sends you a reassuring message over the Net and places you gingerly in a carrier strapped to their back, before carrying you all the way to the Repair Centre.

Once at the repair centre, you are shown to a waiting room. An ad on the far wall is halfway through playing:

And it's hard at the end of the day…

A weary docbot begins to sleep mode; a quadrupedal bot with a dusty beige chassis nudges them with a claw and they start awake again, smiling affectionately with the perfect human teeth on their display.

I need some distraction, oh beautiful release…

A kettle is sat shivering in a waiting room, and the same bot from earlier jumps excitedly around them until they let out a cheerful whistle.

Memories seep from my veins…

A many-armed bot performs a delicate operation on a humanoid robot.

They may be empty and weightless and maybe… I'll find some peace tonight

Several valkyries hover respectfully over the curled up chassis of the quadrupedal bot, which looks heavily scratched from old age. The scene fades to black, and a message is typed on screen:

“In loving memory of Lucky - you bettered the lives of every bot you met.”

You find yourself sniffling slightly as the ad comes to an end. Is that what’s going to happen to you? You’ve heard of bots dying at the Repair Centre… Suddenly, something furry wipes away your oily tears. A noodly creature with small pointy ears and a heart shaped nose slithers over you, cleaning the dirt off your chassis like a living feather duster. You begin to chuckle in spite of yourself. That tickles! Soon you are joined by other bots in the waiting room, who are met by equally affectionate cats. A bronze humanoid bot tips their hat at you. “First time?” You nod nervously, grills rattling. “Ah,” They give you a well-meaning smile and pick up one of the cats, which rolls over for pets on their lap. “It’s nothing to be scared about, honestly. I’ve been repaired here…” They pause as their CPU carries out the computation, “six times! Most of them only for minor patches, mind you, but one time the valkyries treated me for a broken fan. I was in such a high fever when they found me, processor burning up, but they patched me up right as rain, and them cats and dogbots kept me company throughout.” A vacant expression comes over the bot, as if reminiscing fondly. “Real quality service they deliver at the repair centre. Didn’t always use to be that way, or so I’ve heard. Some of the kindest souls working here though; don’t worry, they’ll have you fixed up in no time.”

And they were right. Not only did the docbots remove all the dirt lodged inside of you, oiling you up till you looked to be in factory shape, they even installed a new piece of hardware that would make it easier for you to get around and carry out minor repairs on yourself, to prevent you from ever slipping into such a sorry state again. Rehomed at the Retreat, you flex your new claw in awe, retractable and highly dextrous, it lets you grab your own toast, to adjust your settings, but not just that… You’ve always secretly hoped of being an explorer, a private wish you never dared share with anyone, for your function was to toast, and your flimsy chassis and mild temperament weren’t built to weather the dangers of such a life. But now, little by little, you dare to be something else. Something more. Using your claw to propel yourself, to reach, and to maneuver, you finally put yourself out there, and start to explore!

THERE HAS NEVER BEEN AS GOOD A FRIEND OR PARTNER OR BOT OR TANK AS LUCKY.

WE DID SO MANY AMAZING THINGS! WE MADE-ALL- OF THE FRIENDS!!! WE FOUGHT LONELINESS AND SADNESS LIKE TANKS! WE DANCED THE DANCE OF THE MACROCRAB! THE BRASS DUKE DID NOT BELIEVE THAT MANY TANKS COULD DANCE THAT DANCE BUT LUCKY HAD FAITH AND WAS RIGHT! WE SANG THE TANK OPERA! WE PLAYED THE BESTEST GAME OF FETCH THAT HAS EVER BEEN PLAYED! WITH YOUR HELP, THE BRASS DUKE EVEN CONQUERED… the lower case.

THE BRASS DUKE WAS SO HAPPY!

So happy…

YOU MIGHT NOT BE HERE ANYMORE, BUT YOU ARE STILL HERE. IN THE BOTS YOU FETCHED LIFESAVING PARTS FOR. IN THE BOTS YOU CARRIED UP OUT OF THE SHADOW OF THE DARK VALLEY OF LONELINESS. IN ME.

AND BECAUSE YOU ARE IN ME EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT WITH ME I WILL NOT BE LONELY BUT STILL I WISH YOU WERE BESIDE ME AS WELL. THIS IS NOT A SAD ENDING BUT IT WOULD BE MUCH HAPPIER IF YOU WERE HERE…

I MAY HAVE BEEN MANY TANKS BUT I WAS STILL ALONE UNTIL I MET YOU LUCKY.

AND I DO NOT KNOW IF LUCKY YOU CAN HEAR ME NOW BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I WILL BE OK AND I WILL KEEP UP THE WAR ON SADNESS AND LONELINESS UNTIL IT HAS BEEN TOTALLY CONQUERED BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT I WANT AND I KNOW THAT IS WHAT YOU WANTED TOO…

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH LUCKY. THERE ARE MANY IDEAS THE BRASS DUKE STILL HASN’T CONQUERED, BUT BECAUSE OF YOU THE BRASS DUKE KNOWS JUST WHAT THOSE WORDS MEAN.

GOODBYE FOR NOW LUCKY. BUT I HOPE THAT WHEN IT IS MY TIME YOU WILL COME FETCH ME.

That would be GOOD.

- THE BRASS DUKE’s eulogy for Lucky. Followed by a three hundred tank gun salute over the repair centre.